Smash Face

What do you get when you win a game of Smash Face? Well, apart from a split lip, possibly some bruises and, if you’re lucky, a visit from the tooth fairy you also get the respect of all those who’ve ever played the game as they know the amount of hard work and dedication it takes to win.

This lovely lady is a true champion. She’s been in and out of the Smash Face arena for months now giving anybody and everybody a taste of her wisdom. She asked me to spar with her but I had to politely decline due to the fact I have too much respect for my Adonis like good looks. To say she was upset at being turned down would be quite the understatement as she really wanted to get me on the canvas and smash my face.

To calm her already quite cut throat demeanour I hastily offered to do a portrait that she could use for head shots in press releases. I’d obviously poked the beast as she came at me full of intent to win at a quick game of Smash Face but luckily I tripped over my shoelaces as I was backing away and rolled under the ring. It was only after her squad calmed her down that I plucked myself from the safety of my recess. She wouldn’t talk to me but her publicist asked me if I was still up for the portrait and as I was still a little puddleducked I crawled to the opposite side of the room and painted her swiftly and without her knowledge. I wonder what happens next time I see her…



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