funny

id-iom v TV news

It’s not every day that we get a chance to be on ITV London news but if you live in London and kept your eyes peeled you may have caught us yesterday evening. ITV had sent their on the scene news reporter, Nick Thacher, to Brixton to do a report on how community groups who take care of their area can create lower crime rates and naturally we featured. Our mural of Lady Sulina that we did at the annual street party a couple of months ago was included as brightening up the area and reducing problem graffiti. ha! id-iom 1 world 0. Our mum will be so proud.

Cheers

id-iom

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Sergey loves fun!

Sergey

It’s pretty obvious that Sergey likes fun isn’t it? Just look at the big cheesy grin on his face. Only joking as his face is clearly a little sombre looking. Perhaps someone has just told him some unfortunate news. Anyway, we get some odd requests here at id-iom HQ and today’s commission was certainly one of those. One of our contacts on flickr got in touch and asked if we could use a photo of him and interpret it however we like. I had a look at his serious looking face and decided he needed an injection of fun to lighten him up a little. So here he is drunk on holiday in Cancun with all his spring break buddies. He’s at the front of the rambunctious pack pulling an amusing face for the camera.  Go Sergey!

 

Sergey loves fun!

I should point out that the original photo on flickr wasn’t by me. It was by

быстрый светлый

As it’s in the cyrillic alphabet I’m not entirely sure what the name is but there you have it. You should have a go at photoshopping Sergey. It’s fun.

Cheers

id-iom

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Tesco Value Profit Inflator

Tesco Value Profit Inflator – in store now!

Tesco Value Profit Inflator – bag label

Tesco Value Profit Inflator instructions

As if Tesco didn’t earn enough money to start with. I’d like to think that I’m not alone when I don’t even comprehend what exactly you have to do to misidentify profits to the tune of a quarter of a billion pounds but I think it’s some kind of masterclass that id-iom needs to be taking a part of. Anyway, we racked our brains to see if we could possibly imagine what kind of fantastic device you would use to achieve such extravagant imaginary profits and here is the kind of apparatus I envisaged they were using at Tesco HQ to pump those profits up like a balloon. Like it says on the packaging:

“Please remember that overinflated profits can lead to the auditors being called in. People may get sacked and your business may be at risk”

You have been warned. Please use responsibly.

Cheers

id-iom

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Cooking with Bantha Milk (with Bhuna Fett)

Tesco’s full fat Bantha milk

If you’ve ever wondered what happens when id-iom have a little time on their hands then look no further. We’re very pleased to announce our latest video collaboration. We’ve partnered with infamous intergalactic chef and sometime bounty hunter Bhuna Fett to produce this ‘Cooking with Bhuna Fett’ infomercial on behalf of Tesco’s and their new range of Bantha Milk.

We had to do an incredible amount of wrangling to get Bhuna Fett to agree to feature in our video. The amount of brown envelopes stuffed with galactic standard credits was incredible but then again what do you expect from a part time bounty hunter. After we’d paid Bhuna off we only had a 30 mins window in order to get all the footage we needed as he had some other urgent business to take care of.

So here it is. What you didn’t know you’d been waiting for…

Cheers

id-iom

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What does the fox say?

What does the fox say?

What does the fox say?

Well? What does the fox say? According to the viral hit song by Ylvis they make all kinds of nonsensical sounds and I don’t think that’s entirely fair. Take this fox for instance. He’s living in central London with his girlfriend, has a decent job, is erudite and urbane in all he does and actually has a pretty broad lexicon. He has no trouble expressing his thoughts clearly and with good diction. He can even do a pretty convincing Jamaican accent when he has to. Admittedly though here you’ve caught him just about to indulge in one of his favourite pastimes which is, perhaps, not quite so respectable. When darkness falls there’s nothing he likes to do more than ‘skipping’ or, as the Americans like to call it, ‘dumpster diving’. He’ll tear your bin bags to pieces just for the fun of it. And then perhaps compose a short poem about it afterwards. As is the life of the fox…

Anyway, the fox is a first attempt at doing my own cutouts using a jigsaw and I’m pleased to say I still have all my fingers. He’s been cut out of some MDF and comes complete with glowing LED eyes that just make him look badass come dusk. Until tragedy strikes cutouts are my new favourite thing…

Cheers

id-iom

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Down boy!

Down boy!

I was reading something about the artist Jeff Koons and the fact that his piece ‘Balloon dog (orange)’ sold for a world record auction price for a piece of work by a living artist in November 2013. It sold for a staggering $58.4 million. Art critics are apparently divided over whether he’s due to be historically important or whether his works are crass and kitsch and are the product of cynical self-marketing.

Personally I love shiny stuff and I also love things that are comically out of proportion so the massive shiny metal balloon dogs are something that really appeal to me. Although whether I’d pay the best part of $60 million for one (even if I had it) remains to be seen. Anyway, all that may seem beside the point but now here’s the segue back to today’s piece. I recently had a very strange dream which I think was influenced by the article on Koons that I had read. It made little sense – as dreams are wont to do but one residing image I had of that dream is pretty much what you see before you. A man staring quizzically at the large and shiny Koons balloon dog that he has on a piece of string. I’d like to think it some kind of sub-conscious commentary on art as a commodity but I’m pretty sure I’m far too shallow for that. So there you have it. Take from that what you will…

Oh, and it’s all done on some fancy handmade rag paper which is slightly more absorbent that I thought it would be but I guess you live and learn.

Cheers

id-iom

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id-iom does Time Out

There I was having a flick through today’s print copy of Time Out and what do I find at the bottom of one of the first pages you come across? This little beauty. A nice little feature on some of the pop culture based subversions that we’ve been depositing in our local shops. Surely that means fame and fortune will be knocking on our door some time soon. Oh wait, who’s that ringing my bell….

No, it was just the neighbour demanding I turn the music down. I could barely hear him shouting over the smooth sounds of Nana Mouskouri. He really needs to calm down a bit.

Cheers

id-iom

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Tesco’s Finest ‘spice’ – in store now!

Tesco’s Finest ‘spice’ Melange – in store now!

Tesco’s Finest ‘spice’ Melange label

If you’ve ever seen David Lynch’s 1984 film Dune (based on Frank Herbert’s 1965 novel of the same name) then you probably already know what Melange ‘spice’ is. In the film it’s a drug that has some particularly useful effects and one big downside. It gives the user a longer life span, greater vitaility, heightened awareness and psychic powers. Which is handy as it makes safe and accurate interstellar travel possible. The downside however is that it is addictive and withdrawal is fatal. All this has conspired to make it the most valuable commodity in the universe.

Never one to miss a trick Tesco’s have made a couple of intergalactic deals and got their hands on some of the good stuff. It’s harvested by hand on the desert planet Arrakis from the excretions of the highly dangerous giant sandworm. Tesco’s then ship it to earth and package it up in their Finest range for just under £100 for 4g. A bargain to be sure. Get it while it lasts…

cheers

id-iom

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Chris, I think I’d recommend the helmet option…

Sometimes, when I’m feeling a little low I play ‘clocks’, ‘the scientist’ and ‘yellow’ all at the same time, on constant repeat and with increasing volume until I feel that I am actually Chris Martin. It’s such an amazing feeling to consciously uncouple from yourself and hitch your trailer to Mr Martin’s consciousness. Truly mind blowing. Only joking. I can’t imagine what kind of tat you’d find floating around inside his bonce. You’d be experiencing some serious cognitive dissonance that’s for sure.

Anyway it’s been a good long while since we’ve done any celebrity quotes and I just couldn’t resist  doing a new one when I saw this quote from Coldplay’s sassy frontman. I think I’d safely recommend the helmet option for him. Probably safer that way. Now I’ve just got to think of somewhere fitting that I can deposit it on the street. Drop us a line if you’ve got a good idea…

Cheers

id-iom

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